As I drive away from you again & the rain falls down upon me
I remember the many times I have done this.
Sometimes I remember the laughter that we shared
when we were together.
And I feel cold that those times are gone.
And I remember how many times I have done this.
Once we thought that life would never touch us.
Never admitting it to ourselves or each other,
we lived in a cocoon of make-believe.
No one else mattered when we went inside the home
we worked so hard to create.
I remember now how many times I have done this.
Once we were happy, as we would pretend
that there was nothing outside that could make us feel
anything uncomfortable.
We would talk about the homeless & donate money,
we would listen to the news & shake our heads,
we would empathize with sorrows of our friends
& family, yet remain detached.
I remember how many times we cried
over movies that made us sad.
How many times we talked about the losses
brought about by those who made poor choices.
Yet we quickly went back to our interests
and buried whatever feelings might have surfaced
that we could, or should, do anything about them.
I remember how hard it was to get beyond the superficial.
Even with each other.
Life was so much easier when we remained inside our cocoon.
You had one,
I had one,
And we had made one that occasionally we used
when we wanted to be together.
But the walls of yours were still there
lightly touching the sides of mine
even when we were in "ours".
I remember the pain of knowing that I could
never breach the walls.
And as I drive away from you again
with the rain falling down upon me,
I remember how hard I've worked at tearing
down my walls.
Now when I see the homeless, I offer them my heart.
When I see the news, I make a call.
If a friend calls for compassion I offer my hand.
And as I drive away from you again & the rain falls down upon me,
I feel ashamed.
As I remember the many times I have done this.