Lay, lady, lay, and so I did.
Just what I was supposed to do.
Follow instructions, always be good, stand by my man.
Just like my mother taught me.
Love, honor, and obey
until he decided that wasn't what he wanted anymore.
Maybe never did.
But it must have been my fault that it didn't work out.
I didn't cook or clean well enough,
work hard enough to make him happy, or please him in bed.
So, very quietly, like a good little girl,
I packed up my toys and went.
Not home, because that was the place I had made for him.
Not back to my parents',
because I'm supposed to be a grown-up now.
And, of course, I couldn't make too much of a fuss.
That would upset the friends, or the partners in the firm.
The neighborhood. The dog. The waitress at the restaurant
where we used to eat breakfast on Sunday mornings.
Such a long time ago.
I was afraid when he said he didn't love me anymore.
I couldn't figure out what I had done to let him down.
When I had tried so hard to please him
how I could have failed.
Now I'm not sure who failed whom.
And I'm not so sure why I was in love with him.
There's a new person knocking at my heart now.
I try so hard not to want too much,
not to give too much, and only ask for a little.
I'm afraid sometimes after he's made love to me
that I'll never hear from him again.
And then he'll call.
Sometimes he'll say things that make me think
that finally I've found someone that I can count on, too.
He gave me space and time to learn to care.
Watching, touching, coaxing me gently to trust myself,
he started teaching me that I could trust him.
He put a rainbow just outside my reach
and stepped back and turned his side to me.
With one hand outstretched,
he just stood and waited to see what I would do next.
I want to put my hand in his and see where we might walk together.
This time, I want to do it standing up.
******** Julie M. Grey*******
http://www.aa.net/~greyone
*** or ***
********Grey Design********
http://www.aa.net/~greyone/design.html
writers@onestep.com